Kelly Brook For Playboy
The pictures will cost Hugh Hefner’s firm $500,000 and feature Brooke in a variety to “arty poses”, such as sticking a brush between her chests and pretending it’s a penis or her humping The Three Muses.
UPDATE: The latest naughty pictures are here.
A source tells the Sun that Playboy is known as a “sophisticated title”. Well, yes, if the next jazz mag along the top shelf if + and the people in the know like to masturbate while wearing a monocle and sipping a gin fizz.
PS: If you can’t wait to see Kelly in Playboy, you can catch her naked in the straight-to-tissues flick Piranha 3D, wearing her bra, not wearing her bra and hereunder. Whisper it to Mr Heffner, but you might have paid well over the odds to get Brooke to take her clothes off…
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Naked Kelly Brook Is Ordered To Get Bigger Buns
KELLY Brook’s buns are too small. This is not our opinion but that of the powers that be who run the London Underground.
Kelly Brook is starring in a production of Calendar Girls, the play of the film about a group of frumpy, gravity-tugged middle-aged women getting out their baps and lamingtons for charity. Young, bouncy Kelly plays Celia, the role made famous by the older and more buxom Celia Imrie.
But never mind the talent, get a load of the buns. On the poster, Kelly is holding iced buns up to her chest. Transport for London (TfL) says the buns will not do and should be enlarged before allowing the poster to be used in Tube stations.
The play’s producer David Pugh reacts:
“We’ve found ourselves in the world of censorship, we’re in 1960s Russia… Someone is sitting in a dark room somewhere peering at any sort of nudity.”
As opposed to sitting in an auditorium eating crisps.
“The whole truth of the story that I’m doing is about this group of ordinary women who did something extraordinary. I’m replicating what they did.”
Well, not exactly. The play features Kelly Brook, who we are meant to believe is a member of the Women’s Institute. It is also a play that need to seduce punters into watch it.
Mr Pugh adds:
“They said we were trying to titillate Tube travellers, I thought it was a joke.”
Because having topless former knickers model Kelly Brook holding a pair of cherry-topped buns to her bust is not titillating in the slightest.
There is also the issue of buns being fattening and viewers seeing Brook and labouring under the impression that her talents are the result of frequent visits to the cake shop.