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Friday, December 9, 2011

SEXY LEGACY AND BUSINESS: Original Hooters in Florida gets a facelift; some fans mourn, others embrace it

December 09, 2011
CLEARWATER, Fla. - The original Hooters was a ramshackle, dove-grey, two-story building perched on a stretch of road between Tampa and Clearwater Beach.
Like the chain's slogan, it was "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined" — and it launched a wildly popular restaurant chain that now boasts 487 locations around the world. For 28 years, it has been a magnet for folks who like chicken wings, pretty waitresses in tight clothes and cold beer (although probably not in that order).
Recently, Hooters management announced that the building is "undergoing a full-scale remodeling." Most of the edifice was torn down and construction crews are expanding the footprint to accommodate more customers.
Some would say it's blasphemy in a state accused of constantly demolishing the past in favour of building the shiny, new future. Should the demise of the Original Hooters be mourned? Could a bar where scantily clad women serve clams, wings and beer ever truly be a cultural touchstone?
Absolutely, says Bay Ragni, a Hooters fan from Aston, Pa. It's Ragni's life goal to visit every Hooters in the world. So far, he has been to 15, four on one recent vacation. He jokes with his wife that they should rent an RV and drive to every Hooters, collecting memorabilia along the way.
But Ragni is disappointed that he won't be able to visit the very first Hooters in its original glory.
"The original one would be like going to the Mecca of Hooters," Ragni said. "I would definitely want to still come visit it but it won't be the same. Now that they're changing it, it takes away a little of the originality of it."
Renovation plans call for an expanded kitchen and bar — originally, the restaurant served only beer and wine — and a Hooters museum, said Neil Kiefer, president and CEO of Hooters Management Corp.
"Artifacts, a timeline, menus, original uniforms," said Kiefer, who was overseeing the construction on a recent balmy Florida winter day. Men in hard hats tramped in and out of the shell of the building, while laminated drink specials cards with smiling Hooters Girls lay stacked on a wooden porch rail.
Local historic preservationists also question whether the structure should have been dramatically revamped, while saying that they're not surprised it was.
"Growth is the greatest enemy of historic buildings," said Gary Mormino, a history professor at the University of South Florida St. Petersburg, whose office is located in a rare late-1800s Dutch Colonial building in downtown. "Time anoints, but also destroys."
And while the old Hooters may not have been much to look at, "our frame of reference is always changing," he said. Ranch-style homes and 1950s architecture are undergoing a popular revival. Maybe someone in the future would have wanted to see the faux-Key West-style of the original Hooters, he said.
Mormino said that Hooters plays into what he calls "the Florida Dream": sun, sand, palm trees, beautiful girls, eternal youth, second chances.
Even the founders of Hooters weren't sure if their restaurant would last, much less spawn such a sexy legacy; so many other eateries had failed in that location that they built a small "graveyard" near the front door with tombstones for the prior businesses.
But it was a success: patrons seemed to go wild over the simple concept of beer, wings and waitresses in orange running shorts.
So much so that the founders sold the chain's trademark to another company that kept the iconic Hooters name — although the founders still own the original Clearwater Hooters and other Florida locations.
Mormino and colleague Ray Arsenault are mourning the fact that Hooters recently tore down a longtime Spanish eatery called Pepin about 15 miles away. The Mediterranean-revival building was replaced this fall with a modern-looking structure graced with the bright orange "Hooters" sign atop the building.
"For it to be a Hooters was something of an affront," Arsenault said. "I don't like it. I feel like we've lost something."
While Florida might not have 15th-century Renaissance architecture like Italy, and even the state's copies of Mediterranean architecture are being torn down to make way for chain restaurants, Americans fondly embrace their icons, however mass-produced or tacky.
Authenticity is in the eye of the beholder, says Douglas Astolfi, a history professor at St. Leo University, a school about an hour north of the original Hooters.
"Hooters speaks to who we are," said Astolfi, pointing out that the restaurant's esthetic of big breasts, big beers and sports captures a modern America, especially the America that emerged in the early 1980s.
"In the 20th century we built palaces to our culture. They're not churches, they're not monuments, but they're monuments to our culture," he said. "There's nothing more schlock in our culture than Disney or McDonald's or Hooters, but all of those things personify an American culture that exists."
Astolfi just returned to his Florida home from a visit to Italy. He marvels at how transient, new and egalitarian our culture is, compared to the rich history of Italy, where "highbrow culture" was traditionally available only to the educated upper classes.
"Popular culture, whether it's Hooters or Disney, can be owned by anyone. It can be enjoyed by anyone," he said, adding that there is now a Hooters across the street from Carnegie Hall in New York City. "Why isn't it justifiable to have this as our memory? It doesn't make us less, it makes us different."
____

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

SEX ADULT INDUSTRY: On Tuesday Dec 06, porn sites set to go .XXX

On Tuesday, hundreds of thousands of websites with the .xxx suffix will go live
On Tuesday, hundreds of thousands of websites with the .xxx suffix will go live

STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • Adult industry's .XXX websites set to roll out on Tuesday
  • The domain-name suffix is designed to make porn safer, easier to identify
  • Adult-industry leaders fear domain may become mandatory, used to shut them down
  • Proponents say .XXX will make porn sites safer from viruses and other malware
It's either a new, safer era for adult content on the Web or the first step in creating a digital porn ghetto, depending upon who you ask.
On Tuesday at 11 a.m. ET, more than 100,000 websites are expected to go live with the new .xxx domain.
The suffix was approved as a "top-level domain" address last year by ICANN, the international not-for-profit that coordinates Web addresses. The idea, they say, is to more safely organize content that has become, like it or not, common on the Web.
"The Internet is home to a wealth of content, suitable for a wide range of ages and values," reads a statement on the website of ICM Registry, which is responsible for handing out the new domain names. "The adult entertainment industry has, and always will, account for a large amount of this content and while it is enjoyed by some, it is not suitable, or of interest, to all Internet users.
"Regardless of your views on adult content, it's here to stay, so let's be adult about it."
The group says that creating the suffix will act much like .gov, .edu or .org, giving Web users a heads-up about what sort of site they are visiting based on its Web address alone.
In theory, that would help keep people from stumbling into porn by accident and make it easier for parents to keep their children away from the sites. It also would let users who want to view adult content know that they're visiting a safe, legitimate and legal site.
Porn, or the promise of porn, is frequently used online in suggestive links that mask viruses, phishing attempts and other harmful malware.
By applying for a .xxx site, webmasters, adult performers, studios and others become part of a "sponsored community," agreeing to operate legally and within agreed-upon business standards. Each .xxx site will be scanned daily with McAfee protection tools, which ICM says will help make them among the Web's safest destinations.
But as you might expect, not everyone is pleased with the move.
Some religious organizations have argued against the new .xxx names, saying that creating them amounts to an endorsement of porn.
"The establishment of a .xxx domain would increase, not decrease, the spread of pornography on the Internet, causing even more harm to children, families and communities," said Patrick Trueman, CEO of Morality in Media and former chief of the U.S. Department of Justice Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section, when ICANN was voting on the plan.
The new .xxx sites will be tagged in a way that will make it easy for parents, employers or others to block them on their networks. Parents can block adult sites via parental-controls settings on most computers' control panels or by installing parental-control software.
To protect their reputations against porn purveyors who might seek to capitalize on their name, some universities and businesses have bought .xxx domain names that correspond with their .edu or .com addresses. For example, Penn State in September paid $200 each for four .xxx domains: Penn State, PSU, Nittany Lions and The Pennsylvania State University, according to the university's student newspaper.
The proliferation of .xxx addresses doesn't mean porn will disappear from .com sites. Adult sites that buy a .xxx domain are free to keep their .com or other current URL as well.
Those who oppose the .xxx domains on moral or religious grounds are being joined by critics from the opposite end of the spectrum.
Some in the porn industry fear that creating the opt-in domain could just be a first step toward making it mandatory. Then, they say, it would make it all too easy for a government somewhere to censor adult content by simply blocking access to all .xxx sites.
Playboy had been leading the charge against the new branding.
Manwin, the Luxembourg-based company that runs Playboy.com and other adult sites, has filed suit in California to stop the implementation of .xxx and said last week that it won't do business with or allow its content to be used on any sites using the suffix.
"We oppose the .XXX domain and all it stands for," said Fabian Thylmann, managing partner of Manwin, in a news release. "It is my opinion that .XXX domain is an anticompetitive business practice that works a disservice to all companies that do business on the Internet."
But not all in the industry are lined up against it.
"We believe the future of adult entertainment online is in the .xxx top level domain," said Adam Osborn, head of digital at Paul Raymond Publications. "We see a huge benefit in the adult community having an online space dedicated to our content."
The cost of registering a .xxx domain name can vary dramatically, from a few hundred dollars to simply keep someone else from using an address to much more for sites that may direct hundreds of URLs to the same content.
ICANN has established rules to prevent the early-Internet phenomenon of "cybersquatting," when someone pays the fee and grabs a name apparently associated with someone else. For example, WhiteHouse.com was, for years, a porn site. (Like most U.S. agencies, the real White House uses .gov.)
The ICM has set up an arbitration system to resolve complaints when someone claims an address applicant has improperly taken a URL that should be theirs.


Monday, December 5, 2011

SEX-SYMBOLS: Rosie Huntington Whiteley has topped Maxim magazines 2011 Hot 100 list


ROSIE HUNTINGTON WHITELEY V Day Reminder from Agent Provocateur  Luxist


The other day we wrote about the sexy new Virgins collection from Agent Provocateur. Now the luxe British lingerie line has come out with an incendiary Valentine's Day reminder in video form, entitled Love Me Tender. Starring stunning upper class British model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (above), who's said to be a distant cousin of the Queen of England, the video involves "a rudimentary plot involving office work, trenchcoats, bondage-by-sock, revenge, and cleaning ladies" - plus, of course, an eyeful of Rosie. We're not sure how effective this will be in terms of selling more lingerie, but it's certainly an attention-getter to say the least. You can check out the video here.

Rosie Huntington Whiteley has topped Maxim magazines 2011 Hot 100 list.

The sultry Victoria's Secret model – who is dating actor Jason Statham – took the coveted top slot in the publication's annual rankings of the world's most attractive women.

Rosie told the magazine that it was a "huge honor" to be given first place in the poll which includes actresses, musicians, sports stars and other models.

The 24-year-old beauty said: "It's a great title to have for a year and you can have some fun with it, I think."
Last year, Katy Perry took the top slot but fell two places for the latest list, coming in at third place after Olivia Munn.

Not far behind Rosie this year are Cameron Diaz and Mila Junis in fourth and fifth place respectively.
Making up the rest of the top 10 are supermodel Bar Rafaeli, actresses Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman, Cobie Smulders and Jennifer Lawrence.

Britain's latest member of the royal family, the Duchess of Cambridge came in at number 26 on the list, making her higher ranked than former Pussycat Dolls star Nicole Scherzinger, Lindsay Lohan and reality star Kim Kardashian.

Rosie has admitted in the past that she gives her sex appeal a boost by putting chicken cutlets in her bra.
She said, "I'm not a fan of that whole push-up look in the day, but, of course, you do need a lift with a sexy dress.
"Do what you've got to do girls - shove them in there. I've been known to have three in at a time for shoots - plus padding."

Don't worry, she doesn't have a bunch of raw meat stuffed in her bra. The chicken cutlets she uses are plastic, flesh colored pads that only resemble dinner.

Maxim magazine's 2011 Hot 100 top ten:

1. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
2. Olivia Munn
3. Katy Perry
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Mila Kunis
6. Bar Refaeli
7. Anne Hathaway
8. Natalie Portman
9. Cobie Smulders
10. Jennifer Lawrence



REAL SEX MOVIES: Batalla en el Cielo, Carlos Reygadas



The sequel to Japón is a big-city story of demise in mega-city Mexico about a fat driver, the beautiful daughter of his boss and the surprising confession of an unforgivable crime. Upsetting and exciting existential drama by one of the world's greatest film talents.
Immediately following its première in Cannes, the alarming and exciting Battle in Heaven split the film world into friend and foe. Many pages have been dedicated to the social, moral, existential and cinematographic aspects of Carlos Reygadas' second film.

He tells the story of a simple, big-city crime that - accidentally yet predictably - becomes an unforgivable one: Marcos and his wife kidnap a baby - and the baby then dies. Reygadas is not interested in the hows and whys of this act, for which neither church nor state can offer a truly redeeming punishment. What is important is the way that Marcos, a simple driver working for a rich general, reacts to the tragic outcome of his action.

Seeking redemption, Marcos confesses the crime to Ana, the beautiful young daughter of his boss and a prostitute in an upmarket brothel. One crime leads to another, and Marcos' path leads him on a pilgrimage to the Basilica Guadalupe. Starting and ending with both class-conscious and controversial scenes of fellatio, Battle in Heaven is an uninhibited, ambitious must-see film with its rather mysterious title, its grand camera movements (works of art in themselves, shot by Diego Vignatti), references to Rossellini, Tarkovski and Buñuel, and its meticulously-composed mise-en-scène and impressive soundtrack. [from IFFR catalogue]









http://hotfile.com/dl/54781222/f9c0c7a/bihven.incl.sub.part1.rar
http://hotfile.com/dl/54781241/9651055/bihven.incl.sub.part2.rar
http://hotfile.com/dl/54781180/aa718ea/bihven.incl.sub.part3.rar
http://hotfile.com/dl/54781141/64bba61/bihven.incl.sub.part4.rar

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The 10 Hottest Bisexual Celebrity Women




Megan Fox



Angelina Jolie


In addition to being a perfect specimen of womanhood, she’s also into screwing around with girls. Keep those fantasies coming, gents.



Drew Barrymore was an early adopter on public female bisexuality in Hollywood—she’s been out since the 1990s.

Few men don’t love the sight of two chicks kissing. Problem is, you might not be included in the action. With bisexual women, your chances of getting in the middle of a womanwich are at least better than zero. Best of all, Evan Rachel Wood is trying to make female bisexuality even more acceptable than it already is. We can’t think of a better advocate for (ahem) “the cause.” Here are ten lovely ladies—Megan Fox included—proving that bisexuality isn’t just for drunken college girls anymore.


Lady Gaga


Not terribly surprising, considering that she runs around dressed like a drag queen. Also, she’s got that whole male alter ego thing going. Somehow this makes everything else a little less irritating, though.



Amber Rose:

We haven’t been this into a chick with a shaved head since G.I. Jane.


Rebecca Loos


Anglo-Dutch model Rebecca Loos caused a stir a few years back when David Beckham got caught hooking up with her. Considering her open-minded ways, she was probably just using him to get to Posh.



Anna Paquin


A-Paq came out as bisexual in a public service announcement, then penned an article about it for The Huffington Post. Since we’re so into the former, we’ll forgive her for the latter.



Evan Rachel Wood


Seriously, like Marilyn Manson counts as a dude anyway.




Drea De Matteo

We’ve been loving Drea since since The Sopranos. Now we’ve got some lovely new mental pictures of her and… well, every other lady on this list.





Amber Heard

Amber Heard might just be the perfect woman. Along with her stunning good looks, she loves muscle cars and guns. Oh, and other chicks.




Megan Fox

We never thought we’d be jealous of Brian Austin Green, but…

SEX ENCYCLOPEDIA: Ménage à trois


Trío sexual, una de las más comunes fantasías

Todo acerca del menáge a trois
Tener un trío sexual, es la fantasía más frecuente sobre todo, en el público masculino.
La popular frase derivada del francés, “menáge a trois”, define al acto sexual entre tres personas, por lo habitual, dos de un mismo sexo y la otra de distinto.
¿Y porque se dice que es la fantasía sexual preferida de los hombres?, porque muchos de ellos en alguna ocasión, fantasearon con tener sexo con dos chicas a la vez, y si estas son amigas, mucho mejor.
Pero también con seguridad, hay mujeres a las que se les ha cruzado por la cabeza, alguna vez en su vida, tener un trío amoroso, ya sea con dos hombres más, o con un hombre y una mujer, ¿o me equivoco?

La rutina, la curiosidad por experimentar nuevas sensaciones en el terreno sexual, pueden llevarte a pensar que un trío, sería una experiencia renovadora para tu pareja. Claro que muchas veces ni se te pasaría por la cabeza proponérselo seriamente al otro, porque sabes de antemano cual sería su respuesta.
Pero ¿y si sucede lo contrario?, ¿si a la otra persona también le parece una buena idea y quiere intentarlo? Quizá por dar sentado algo, te pierdes de vivir una experiencia que puede llegar a servirte a tí y a la relación.
No siempre querer sumar a alguien en la cama, es por falta de interés sexual hacia la persona con la cual se está, o por haberla dejado de querer, sino que responde justamente al hecho de querer explorar en la propia sexualidad y en la de la pareja, para reavivar la pasión.
La persona que se integre a la pareja, puede ser alguien totalmente desconocido para ambos, o por el contrario alguien muy cercano a la pareja. Esta segunda opción, me parece más comprometedora y arriesgada aún, ya que si las cosas salen mal, no sólo está en juego tu relación de pareja, sino también tu relación con esta tercera persona.
Por supuesto esta práctica sexual, no es para todo el mundo, un juego en el cual es necesario poner límites y reglas claras.
Me imagino que como toda importante decisión en el sexo, como también lo puede ser el intercambio de parejas, tiene que ser algo sumamente meditado en forma individual pero también muy conversado en el marco de la pareja, porque luego de convertir en realidad esta fantasía, nada puede llegar a ser igual, para bien o para mal.
Personalmente creo que hay otras opciones menos arriesgadas, para encender la pasión en la pareja, antes de recurrir a esta. ¿Tú qué opinas?, ¿te animarías a tener esta experiencia?

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How I Planned a MÉNAGE À TROIS

When Pamela Druckerman's husband asked for a threesome for his 40th birthday, she reluctantly agreed, on one condition - that she pick the other woman.


The question on my husband's birthday is always: What do you get for the man who has nothing? My husband isn't a shopper; he buys food and, lately, diapers. He recently declared that he has enough pants to last the rest of his life. When I asked about his intentions regarding a drawer containing dozens of stray socks, he said his heirs would sort it out.

For his 40th birthday, I had my eye on a vintage watch. It would complement his tattered sweaters and declare to the world that he is, in fact, employed. But when I mention this to him, he balks. He says that what he really wants isn't a good, but a service: a threesome with me and another woman.

This isn't exactly surprising. He'd voiced the fantasy before. So had practically every guy I'd ever dated. But this time I say yes. Maybe it's the moral weight of the big birthday and the fact that he never asks for anything. Maybe I'm daunted by the price tag on a stainless-steel Rolex. Maybe, as a journalist, I can't resist a deadline, or I pity him heading into middle age consigned to sleeping with the same woman (me) for the rest of his life. And maybe, just maybe, it's because I fancy the idea myself.

I should say that we are normally quite dull. We don't swing or have an open marriage. We're rarely even awake past 10 p.m. Although I wrote a book about infidelity around the world, I ended up concluding that fidelity is quite a good idea. So far, it has been for us. This wouldn't technically be cheating, but it's not textbook monogamy, either.

Indeed, the idea of a threesome is so exotic that for a few weeks, it just sits there. I occasionally mention the name of a female friend.

"Would she be acceptable?"

"Absolutely," he says. It turns out that all of my girlfriends and practically all the spouses of his friends would potentially make the cut, including the pregnant ones.

Although I'm a novice, I'm pretty sure that getting someone we know would be a mistake. There's the enormous potential for awkwardness. And I don't want someone creating a wedge in our cozy twosome. I'm envisioning this as a onetime deal.

Anyway, I wouldn't know whom to ask. My husband and his friends can chat over a beer about getting two women into bed. Heck, that's porn. But middle-class straight girls don't tend to compare same-sex fantasies. It's hard to know who'd be tempted and who'd be appalled.

Over brunch one day in Paris (where my husband and I now live — I'm American; he's British), we tell some friends about the planned birthday "present." One of them, a single British banker who's nearing 40 herself, grimaces and goes silent.

"You look horrified," I say.

"Yes, I mean, I just think it's extraordinary!" she says, blushing.

My husband rejects the idea of a sex club as too public. I rule out advertising online, since that seems like an open call for venereal disease. We decide that the ideal candidate would be a sexy acquaintance. She'd be vetted (everyone knows acquaintances don't have herpes) but easy to avoid afterward.

A candidate soon emerges. She's a friend of a friend I've met at dinner parties but whose name I can never remember. By chance she's seated behind us at a concert, with a man who appears to be her date. For the first time, I notice that she's quite pretty. She's tall and thin, with a little ballerina's waist. And I'm pretty sure she's sassy.

"How about her?" I whisper to my husband.

"Yes!" he says, too loudly.

After the concert, the four of us chat. I make firm eye contact with the woman (who I've figured out is named Emma), act fascinated by her comments on the music, and wait for my window to suggest that she and I meet for lunch. She seems flattered. A few days later, we exchange e-mails and make plans to have Thai food. I get gussied up, and am pleased to see when I arrive that she has, too. Does she know that she's on a date?

Usually I'm so self-absorbed that my companion could be bleeding to death and I might not notice. But the pursuit of the threesome has made me more attentive. Over soup, I listen carefully to Emma and quickly understand something that would have taken me years to notice: Under a pond of sassiness is a lagoon of insecurity. She clings to boyfriends who mistreat her, convinced that she doesn't deserve them. I'd mistaken tall for self-possessed.

This probably means that she's too emotionally fragile for a threesome, but I decide to broach the topic anyway, at least to get some practice. I do it under the guise of exchanging girly confidences, saying, "You won't believe what my husband wants for his birthday." I tell her that I've agreed to it in principle but that I haven't yet found the third party.

I think she gets that I'm propositioning her, but instead of taking the bait, she becomes the Cassandra of threesomes. She describes the rogue ex-boyfriend who pressured her to go to bed with him and his other lover, and the friends of hers who swapped partners and never swapped back. She says that I'll be scarred by images of my husband doing unspeakable things to another woman. "And what if it's someone who's incredibly hot? How could you possibly handle that?" she asks, a bit insultingly.

Not only is Emma out of the running, she seems to be morphing into that most dreaded of creatures: the friend. She talks of future lunch dates at other Asian restaurants. I'm suddenly sympathetic to those male "friends" of mine who disappeared when I got engaged. Why stick around?

That night I tell my husband about the "date," which cost me $50 and ate up half my workday.

"Thanks for taking care of that," he says, without looking up from his computer. It's exactly what he says when I've waited at home all morning for the plumber or replaced the rechargeable batteries in our phones. It occurs to me that planning this threesome has become another one of the things I do, like organizing playdates and supervising the renovation of our kitchen.

Nevertheless, my new man's-eye view of the world is thrilling. I notice women everywhere — at the photo shop, in line at the supermarket. I even scan my book group — middle-aged expatriates who like to read about the Holocaust — for candidates.

I have a belated feminist revelation: Women don't demand raises and promotions, because we're trained to sit pretty and let someone else chase us. In my new role as decider, I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I just go after what I want from them. It's refreshing to have some time off from wondering whether I look fat.

And putting this once-furtive fantasy on the table is energizing. Threesomes suddenly seem to be everywhere, although the message about them is paradoxical: Everyone (at least everyone male) wants to have one, but no one's had a good one. A friend says he bedded two women on the night of September 11, 2001, as they all watched television together. But — as in many stories I hear — there's an imbalance. One of the women had a serious, unreciprocated crush on him. "Inside every threesome is a twosome and a onesome," a character on Gossip Girl warns.

I'm undaunted, but no closer to finding a candidate. Fortunately, my husband and I extend the deadline a few weeks past his birthday after realizing that, between work trips and school holidays, we don't actually have time for a threesome until the end of the month.
I decide to have a look at some websites. Perhaps not everyone on them has gonorrhea? To my surprise, I get a reply 15 minutes later. It's literate and nice.
Get more ideas for sex positions and tips.
 















I decide to have a look at some websites. Perhaps not everyone on them has gonorrhea? At least a dozen couples are seeking a woman for a threesome. The couples all claim to be gorgeous and under 30. Since I can't compete on looks or age, I decide to distinguish myself by sounding desperate: "I'd like to give my partner his best birthday present ever: an experience with me and another woman. Will you help me?"

To my surprise, I get a reply 15 minutes later. It's literate and nice.

"Hi, I also have a boyfriend with the same fantasy (not very original, I know, but boys will be boys!!). Maybe we could end up doing a deal (though not necessarily). If we like each other, I'd be happy to help out. What kind of scenario did you have in mind?"

She signs it "N."

It may seem imprudent to pledge loyalty to an anonymous, bisexual woman who trolls "no-strings" websites, but I decide on the spot that I won't respond to anyone else. I like her sisterly tone and her perfect spelling. I'm not sure about the exchange deal, but that doesn't seem to be mission-critical for her (although when I read the e-mail to my husband that night, he says, "I'll swap you").

We exchange more e-mails (I call myself "P"). It turns out she's a straight, divorced, disease-free mom in her 40s who claims she was motivated to answer my ad by a kind of sexual altruism. She also quotes the French expression, "One need not die an idiot." I agree. We decide to meet for coffee.

As I'm getting ready to go meet her (silk sweaterdress, foundation, mascara), I'm suddenly struck by the strangeness of what I'm about to do. It's real, and I'm nervous. How do I convince a woman to take off her clothes? My husband, who spent years of his life addressing this particular challenge, gives me a little pep talk.

"With women, you have to listen to all the stuff they say," he explains. "They have all these complex emotional issues, and you have to try to figure out what they are. Just keep asking questions. Be pleasant and reassuring but also slightly mysterious." He's probably afraid that I'll back out, because he adds that to keep life interesting, sometimes you have to stick your neck out.

"It's not my neck that's going to be sticking out," I say.

I'm already sitting down when N. walks into the café. She's a pretty, slim brunette with a friendly face. Although she's dressed conservatively, I notice that her makeup is fresh. She must be eager to make a good impression, too. I'm certain that my husband will like her.

I try to seem riveted as she describes her boyfriend woes, her life as a single mom, and the health issues of her elderly father. Despite the peculiar circumstances, she's clinging to the conventions of female bonding. I steer the conversation toward sex. She says she's never been with another woman and isn't sure how she'll feel about that. She doesn't mention the possible swap. We part warmly with a chaste, double-cheeked kiss. I wait several days before sending her a note. I tell her that she's been in my thoughts and that I found her charming "in every way." She replies immediately, saying that she's very game for our adventure, but that she'd like to discuss it in more detail. Could we meet again?

I'm not sure what kind of plans she wants to make. We'll each suck one of his toes? I'll read him poetry while she pirouettes? The course of things on the day itself seems hard to predict. But by now I'm goal-oriented. If that's what she needs, then fine.

At our second meeting, her insecurities surface: Do I think this counts as cheating on her boyfriend? ("Of course not!") What kind of women does my husband like? ("Brunettes!") We lay down some ground rules for the threesome. To avoid it getting too thrusty and porn-like, the two of us will be in charge. My husband won't make a move unless we allow it. She and I will go to the small, furnished apartment that he uses as an office, and he'll join us there once we're ready.

"Do you think he'll agree to these terms?" she asks.

"He'll just be grateful to be in the room," I say.

Everything seems to be settled, but again we part without fixing a date. I send the usual lovely-to-see-you follow-up. She replies that she enjoyed our conversation, too, but that she'd like to meet again to talk more about our plans. Again? I'm beginning to doubt whether she'll go through with this. I'm tired of putting on makeup every time I go to meet her, and I'm running out of dresses.

My husband insists that this is the normal pace of seduction.

"Obviously she's not ready yet," he says. "She has some sort of hesitation. You need to work out what it is and help her with it."

On my way to the third meeting, I decide to loosen up and be less calculating. I tease her about all the planning, telling her that I'm making storyboards and cue cards. I confess that this is all a rather big deal for me; she says the same. For a while, I even forget that I'm trying to get her into bed. We coquettishly call each other "N" and "P."

This new mood seems to be what was missing for her. After about an hour, she takes out her calendar, and we schedule the threesome for a week later, the 20th, over lunchtime.

When I get home, my husband is waiting up.

"I decided to just be myself," I tell him.

"Oh, no," he says.

I share the good news that we have an actual date. To keep his expectations in check, I mention potential glitches, including the fact that her father is 86.

"So? He won't be there, will he?" he says.

"You know there's a possible problem," I say.

"He might hand in his dinner pail? Drop off his perch? Buy a one-way ticket? The best for us would be if he checked out of the hotel on the 21st, earliest," he says.

A week later, N.'s father is fine and I'm getting ready to meet her. "I have a threesome in two hours," I keep boasting to myself. I'm not going to die an idiot.

I meet N. at a café for a quick coffee, then we head to my husband's office around the corner. On the way, I insist that we stop at a little food stand, where I buy cheese, sausage, honey, and bread — in case we work up an appetite later. Clearly I'm shopping to calm my nerves.

When we get up to my husband's office, it's N. who's nervous.

"You're in charge, OK?" she says. Me? We're both relieved when my husband arrives. They introduce themselves. He's immediately very physical with her, which breaks the ice. We have a sort of group hug, and then we agree that he can take off both of our dresses.

My first surprise is that women are allowed to wear jewelry in bed. N. even keeps her large hoop earrings on. My second is that a threesome is so, well, sexual. I'd focused so much on the logistics and the catering that I had forgotten we were all going to be naked.

My third surprise is that, when you're detail-oriented like me, threesomes are confusing. You quickly lose track of who's at which stage. There's a lot of ambiguous moaning. My husband tells me afterward that he got a little lost, too.

Overall, it's nice. I get the sense that we're all trying to divide our attention equitably. There's no clear twosome or onesome. Occasionally, N. and I ask each other "How are you doing?" like old friends.

But after maybe 40 minutes, I lose interest. I wonder whether I might check my e-mail. N. is really quite beautiful, but seeing versions of my own lady parts on her feels vaguely incestuous. Although it's all new, it's too familiar. By contrast, I find my husband extremely appealing. Part of what I like about men, I realize, are the differences between us.

I try to stay attentive — it's a birthday present, after all — but soon I'm just scratching their backs. When I glance at the clock, I'm surprised to see that only an hour has passed. I had no idea that sex could be so ... long. I realize, with some alarm, that they're both probably more sexual than I am. I like it plenty, but I'm satiable.

Finally, they tire themselves out. There's a sweet moment at the end when the three of us lie together under the covers, with the birthday boy in the middle. He's beaming. I'll later get a series of heartfelt thank-you notes from him, saying it was as good as he had hoped.

"It affirmed for me how much I like the female form. When you have two, it accentuates that," he tells me afterward.

N. seems very pleased, too. On the walk home, she says she's surprised by how erotic she found the whole experience, especially being with me. I'm flattered to have converted her. But I feel like the Christian missionary who realizes — just after the big revival — that she's actually more of a Jew. I'm not nearly as gay as I thought I was. I'd always felt that there might be something else out there. Now — and not just by the process of elimination — I'm struck by how emphatically I want my husband.

I'm left feeling unsettled. I can't wait to shower. Sadly, I'm more conventional than I'd thought. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon. In practice, I was shaken up. I wasn't bored; I was bothered.

Still, I don't forget my etiquette. I send N. a polite thank-you note. Her reply suggests that she'd like a repeat performance. I'm not planning on it. My own birthday's coming up, and I think I'd like a nice watch.